HIGH SCHOOL WITH MY FIANCEE: 46-50
HIGH SCHOOL WITH MY FIANCE
She is water💦 He is fire🔥
She is kind😊 He is Cold😟
( I am selfish)
I stood in front of the toaster as I waited for the bread to come out.
I heard a groan as I turned around and watched Xavier coming and sitting in one of the chairs. He buried his face in his hands as he groaned,
“My head.” He croaked, “Medicine. Give me some medicine.”
I didn’t say anything as I sighed and opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water. Then opening one of the cabinets I took hold of an aspirin. I went towards him while slamming both of the things on the table.
He lifted his head up from his hand and looked at the aspirin before looking at me confused,
“Are you trying to break the table?” He asked tired.
I didn’t reply to him and turned around to check up on my bread. He was silent for a while as he watched me going. He let out a deep breath before grabbing the water and aspirin. He gulped them down before I could feel his eyes on me,
“I don’t have an appetite.” He said.
I turned around to look at him dead in the eyes, “These are not for you.”
He stared at me before saying, “Are you mad at me?”
I turned my back towards him, “Why would I be mad at you?”
He was silent for a while as I ran my fingers along the counter,
“Did I say something yesterday?” He asked out of nowhere.
My fingers stopped. My breathing stopped. I stared in the front.
I love you.
His words rang in my ears.
He was drunk. I reminded myself. He didn’t mean it. Or did he? Even if he did. Even if he meant what he said…can I go back to him after all what he did? Can I go back to him with the uncertainty that he won’t break my heart again?
Am I ready yet?
“What do you think?” I asked him as I turned around and stood there with my weight against the counter.
He closed his eyes while pinching the bridge of his nose, “I don’t know. I am not capable of thinking at all right now.” He opened his eyes for a brief moment and looked at me, “But the way you are looking at me…I think I did.”
I crossed my arms and looked at him trying to comprehend him. Does he remember what happened yesterday? Does he even remember saying ‘I love you’ to me? Or better yet, does he think he can talk to me normally after what he said in the cafe?
“My parents would be here any minute now.” I stated.
“I am just leaving.” He mumbled closing his eyes in pain again.
I shook my head, “You are not going anywhere.”
He looked at me puzzled. I pushed myself away from the counter and noticed my bread. I took it out and taking a plate put it on it. Then making my way towards Xavier I stood in front of him,
“You said you don’t feel anything for me.”
He clenched his jaw tight.
“Don’t you think we should just let our parents know?” I continued.
His eyes snapped upto me, “Know what?”
I smirked as I held onto the plate tight, “That we are breaking off our engagement.”
He stared at the table. I could feel my legs on the verge of giving up. I wanted to know what was going on in his mind.
But does it matter?
I faced away from him and made my way towards the guest room where Alec was still asleep,
“Where are you going?” Xavier asked from his seat.
I looked at him, “Taking the breakfast to Alec.”
He stared at me with a dumb expression. His eyes wide. Suddenly he put his hands on his stomach,
“It is surprising that I am hungry all of a sudden. Can I get that bread?” He asked.
“You don’t have an appetite.” I repeated his sentence and went to Alec’s room.
“If he wants to eat he should come out! Why are you taking it to him in bed?!” He yelled as I ignored him. I heard him groan as he got up from the seat.
I entered the room and found Alec still sleeping soundly. I don’t mind him sleeping a little late.
The only problem is that he needs to get out before my parents come. Don’t know how they’ll react once they find out that Alec spent the night…along with Xavier.
I went and put the plate on the bedside before trying to wake him up. I called his name a few times but he didn’t even budge.
“He is a heavy sleeper.”
I turned towards the door and found Xavier standing there. Without saying anything he came inside and stood near Alec’s legs.
I kept silent as I looked back at Alec, “What should-” before I could even complete my sentence, I saw Alec being kicked out of bed.
And the only person capable of doing such a thing was…Xavier Reed.
Alec landed on the ground with a thud,
“What the actual fuck? Is there an earthquake?” I heard Alec croak in his sleepy voice. He rubbed his hands behind his head and the place where the impact took place.
“Do you really think we would be standing here next to you if it was an earthquake?” Xavier muttered rolling his eyes.
Alec was silent for a while before he finally opened his eyes fully and ran his gaze over Xavier before settling on me.
“Good morning.” He said in his sleepy voice to me before he stretched his arms out. The getting up he sat on the bed,
“You really need to change your habit of kicking me out of the bed.” Alec muttered as he tried to
relief his shoulder pain Xavier gave him.
“And you really need to get out of here. ” Xavier smiled evilly at Alec.
Alec seemed confused for a while as he turned his gaze towards me– confused.
“My parents will be back any minute now. So, you need to leave before they see you.” I tried to explain it to him, “But don’t worry! I brought you breakfast! You can have this before you leave.”
His gaze turned toward the bread on the side table as a warm smile made it’s way onto his way, “Thanks Princess.”
I couldn’t help but blush as I smiled softly at him.
“Don’t be too happy.” Xavier grumbled, “She gave it to you because I refused to eat.”
We both ignored him. Yes, it was better to ignore him when he had a hangover.
I walked Alec outside. He smiled at me as he walked beside me,
“Thank you.” Alec smiled genuinely.
I smiled back as I nodded my head at him, “I am just glad I had you, Alec. It was so much easier for me.”
He stopped before turning towards me and taking my hands in his he said, “I am always here for you.”
I tried to reassure him back, “I know.” I smiled.
I snatched my hands away as soon as possible and looked at the entrance to find mom and dad standing there looking at the both of us with confusion.
“What is going on?” They asked coming near us.
I wanted to tell them the truth. But at the same time I didn’t want them to know.
I opened my mouth to answer when Alec beat me to it,
“Mr and Mrs Kapur. I was just here to take notes from Liya.” He answered trying to cover up.
Mom and dad nodded their heads at the both of us slowly but still looked skeptical,
“Early in the morning?” Mom asked narrowing her eyes.
Alec tried to smile as it faltered, “Of course! Time shouldn’t stop you from doing what you want!”
Alec tried to keep the smile on, “Y-yes, right Liya?” He turned towards me.
I stared at him before I saw him gesturing me frantically to say something, “Ah, yes. Yes. Borrow the notes.”
Dad looked at the both of us before pointing towards Alec’s empty hands, “Where are they?”
Alec looked alarmed as he asked, “What?”
“The notes. Where are they? You came to take the notes and you are leaving empty handed. So where are the notes?” Dad asked.
Alec gulped as he tried to laugh, “Oh. Yes. The notes.” His eyes met mine, “Yes. The notes. Liya, where are the notes?” He asked tilting his head to one side.
My eyes widened as I looked at him. Jerk turned it on me. I looked back at my parents,
“The notes?” The both of them looked at me expectantly, “The notes. Damnit.” I murmured to myself, “Yes!…I don’t have them on me. I didn’t have the ones Alec wanted.”
I nodded my head at them and looked at Alec as he nodded his head along with me.
“Yeah. She didn’t have them.” He nodded his head.
Mom and dad didn’t look satisfied with the answer but nodded their head anyways.
I smiled awkwardly and was about to take Alec out again when the door to the house opened and Xavier came out. He looked at the all of us before coming and standing beside me,
“You didn’t leave?” Xavier asked looking at Alec.
I wanted to facepalm myself. Just when I thought the situation was in control, Xavier had to come out. And god knows how this will go.
“He is just going.” I smiled and tried to take Alec away.
“Xavier is here too.” Mom said looking at Xavier. Xavier smiled at her and gave her a hug and shook hands with dad.
“What are you doing here?” She asked smiling.
Here we go.
Xavier was silent for a while before he opened his mouth. I don’t know what was he going to say but I sure as hell assure you that it won’t help our current situation,
“He just came with Alec in the morning.” I spoke cutting Xavier off. I added ‘morning’ on purpose hoping that Xavier will understand what was going on.
But Xavier being Xavier looked at me dumb, “No. We were here the whole…”
“You came in the morning with Alec to take notes, Xavier.” I gritted my teeth, “Remember?” I emphasized and looked at him hard trying to make him understand.
He was silent for a while before he nodded his head in understanding, “Ohhh. The notes. Yes. The notes.” He looked at Alec’s hand before faking shock all over his face.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at his over dramatic self,
“Alec, where are the notes? Liya gave them to you, right? Did you forget them in the room?” Xavier asked looking at Alec. At this point even I could see Alec mentally wanting to facepalm himself.
I looked back at mom and dad in panic as they looked at the three of us confused,
I waved my hands in the air, “I didn’t have the notes you wanted, Xavier.”
He turned towards me and looked at me weirdly before sighing, “Of course. Yes. I remember. You didn’t have the notes.”
The three of us nodded our heads at my parents letting them know that we were done. Mom looked at me a little disappointed,
“Even after attending the school everyday, you don’t have the notes. Are you paying attention to your studies?” She asked folding her arms over her chest.
“Of course! I am mom. It was just that subject.” I tried to explain. She was very serious when it came to my studies. Just like any parent she wanted me to do good in studies.
“Which subject?” She asked.
The three of us said at the same time.
I cursed under my breath. Who asked the both of them to speak?! I looked at dad who literally seemed bored right now while mom looked at the three of us with her eyebrows raised,
“Yes.” I said trying to make her understand, “They needed notes for chemistry. But I didn’t have them. Because I have history.” I said slowly.
“Yes!” Xavier and Alec nodded their heads, “We forgot she didn’t have chemistry. Our bad.” They tried laughing and shrugging their shoulders.
“The three of you are acting weird.” Mom said skeptically.
Dad finally couldn’t take it anymore, “Okay. Okay. You guys go ahead. I’ll take her inside.”
He took mom by the shoulders and took her in,
“Mom? Dad?” I called one last time.
They both turned towards me in a questioning way,
I gulped, “I know you must be tired. But Xavier and I need to talk to you.”
I could see Xavier snapping his head to me from the corner of my eyes. Mom and dad looked at each other before slowly nodding their heads at us,
“Of course. Whatever you need. We are here only.”
I subtly nod at them and look at Xavier to find him lost in his own thoughts. I ignore him as I faced Alec and motioned him to the exit.
He followed me as I waved him off. He waved back as he got into the car and drove away. As soon as he was gone I sighed.
Now, for the worst part. Whatever was waiting for me inside. Finally the time to let it all go. Make myself to let him go and start new.
I turned around and found Xavier already gone inside. I took a deep breath preparing myself before going inside.
As soon as I was inside I couldn’t help but notice Xavier sitting there on the sofa in front of my parents. They both looked at each other before their eyes turned to catch me walking towards them. I stopped in my way before staring at everyone. They raised their eyes in a questioning way.
I could see Xavier noticing and looking up in alert at me. I inhaled and went to sit beside him so that we both were facing my parents now.
The both of them looked at us expectantly to know what the heck was going on,
I gulped before I put my hands on my thighs trying to give myself strength.
I can do this. I reminded myself.
“Mom. Dad. We need to talk to you.” I started.
“Yes. You made that clear outside. But what is it about?”Dad asked.
I inhaled deeply and looked at my parents in the eyes, “About my engagement with…” I cleared my throat, “Xavier.”
They exchanged looks before looking back at me. They seemed clueless but at the same time concerned as they asked, “Is something the matter?”
“I know you planned it all when we were ten. I know you guys expect us to be together. But,”
I stopped before biting my lip and looking down for a moment.
But, I think it is time to call it off. Our engagement. I know you had good intentions when you decided it…but it is really not working. Some things just don’t work out. No matter how good they are together.
“But what, Liya?” They asked sitting on the edge of the seats now.
“We would like to continue our relationship.”
I bit my tongue accidentally as I snapped my head and stared beside me at Xavier.
What. Did. He. Just. Say?
He wants to…WHAT?!
Xavier didn’t even turn his head to look at me as he continued talking to my parents, “I am so glad that you trust me with Liya. Believe me,” he turned his head towards me and gazed at me with his hazel eyes, “I would love to grow old and marry her.”
I was mesmerized by his eyes. It was like a spell put on me.
I wanted to believe every word he was saying right now. I could feel my heart surrendering.
The only thing stopping me were his words back in the cafe,
“No. I never felt anything towards you.”
I stomped up from the sofa and grabbing Xavier by the arm, yanked him out of the house in the open where my parents couldn’t hear us.
As soon as we were out I let go of Xavier’s hand and stare at him in annoyance. I was about to open my mouth when he came forward and putting his hands under my chin…tried to kiss me.
I was about to close my eyes in bliss before I realized the situation and pushed him away from me,
“What are you doing?” I yelled at him, “You know we are breaking it off. Then why are you trying to kiss me and saying all those things?!”
I was frustrated. Frustrated of him doing everything unexpected.
He grabbed me by my shoulders shaking me a little as he said, “All the things I said back there are true.”
I stared at his hazel eyes. I want to believe him. I want to believe him so badly.
But I pushed his hands away from me, “You are lying.” I spat.
“I am not lying!” He tried to make me understand.
I glared at him as I pinned him down with my gaze, “Oh yeah? I remember you telling me clearly that you didn’t feel anything for me! So what is all this? Why are you doing this? Just when I am trying to move on…let you go…why are you holding onto me!?”
“CAN’T YOU SEE!” He yelled frustratedly as he ran his hands through his hair, “Don’t you see what it is doing to me? I am not…me. I want you. No. I NEED you.”
“You shouldn’t have said that then!” I yelled back referring to his words back then.
“I was an asshole! Okay? But I was right! Right in so many ways that you can’t imagine!”
“Then what is making you change your mind now!” I screeched.
“MY SELFISHNESS FOR YOU!” He turned away from me and punched the wall behind him. Hard. I wanted to coil myself away from this. From him. But I held onto myself.
There was silence for a while as we both took deep breaths. I didn’t know what was going on. If it was all the truth. If Xavier was actually standing here in front of me and telling me the truth.
It was me who broke the silence first,
“So do you feel anything for me?” I repeated my question from that day.
He took his hand away from the wall and slowly faced me and looked at me with vulnerability, “I do. I do enough to make me selfish for you. Selfish enough to not let you go. No matter what anyone says anymore.”
When I said I didn’t hate Xavier…I meant it. And when I said I don’t know if I can trust Xavier with my feelings anymore…I meant that too.
“Why did you deny it then?” I asked him softly.
“I never gave you anything but tears. Painful memories of me to remember. I never didn’t hurt you.” The corner of his eyes turned down as he looked at me with all the insecurity and vulnerability he felt, “I never made you happy. Letting you go seemed the chance for me to actually see you happy….And I guess everyone believed it too.”
I couldn’t help but stare at him dumbfounded. Am I supposed to be touched? Because I sure as hell don’t feel touched by this…bullcrap.
“You lied to me to make sure that I move on and stay happier without you?” I raised my eyebrows unsure.
He nodded his head at me softly.
I don’t know what he was expecting my reaction to be. To know that he lied to me to make me let him go and live happily without him…but he sure as hell didn’t expect it when I stepped forward towards him and with all my might slapped him hard across his face.
I could see him clenching his jaw tight as he tried to not move. He seemed surprised but he tried to hide it. I pointed my finger at his chest and poked him,
“If that was your reason for lying to me and breaking my heart….then you are the dumbest person alive on this planet.” I looked at him unbelievably, “You literally put me, no scratch that, the both of us through shit just because you wanted me to be happier?” I made a face at the end.
I looked at him hurt as I stepped away from him, “Do you really think I went through all the bullcrap you put me through just to make you lie to me in the end? Why? Just because you wanted me to be happier.” I mocked him.
“Do you really think I would have held onto you if I didn’t believe that I will be the happiest with you? Cause I knew that all the pain I was going through at that point was worth it. Worth the love I was going to get. Because I know for a fact that when Xavier Reed loves someone he is ready to do anything for them.”
He stared at me without any expression on his face. I could tell that he was surprised.
“I am angry at you.” I clenched my jaw, “I am mad at you. I want you to feel all the pain I went through back there in the cafe. Just because of some stupid reason.”
“It didn’t seem stupid back then.” He muttered looking down.
“Go away.” I stated as I exhaled.
“Liya.” He whispered as he tried to take a step towards me.
I held my hand out in front of me making him stop. I didn’t look him in the eyes as I repeated myself,
“Go away, Xavier.”
“I told you the truth. I am sorry…And I am willing to do anything…please Liya.” He begged me.
I closed my eyes as I turned away from him, “It doesn’t matter, does it? You did break what you shouldn’t have that day. And it’s not that easy to mend it.”
“It’s my fault, pancake. And I am ready to do whatever it takes…just let me know that you still have feeling for me.” He softly added.
I love you. His words again rang in my ear.
“Why don’t you look around?
There are other guys.” Alec’s voice said in my ear.
“I don’t know.” I answered him, “I feel all these feelings right now. I am not sure I trust you yet Xavier.”
“Don’t say that.” He shook his head.
“I can’t help it. Just because you lied you can’t change the fact that you put me through hell for these last ten days. Do you know the endless nights I cried because of you.”
He snapped his eyes to me, “They weren’t pleasant for me either.”
“Because of you and your stupid reason. And thinking about it makes me all the more mad. So just leave, Xavier. Give me time.”
He slowly took a step backwards, “I’ll make sure,” He said slowly, “to win over your heart again. I am not giving up on you this time. And I don’t care what others say…I am too stubborn now to ever let you go.”
___To b continued
HIGH SCHOOL WITH MY FIANCE
She is water💦 He is fire🔥
She is kind😊 He is Cold😟
I stared out of my window and up in the sky. It was a cloudy night. The sky was tar black and you could see the dark clouds moving effortless in the sky. I could tell just by looking that it was going to rain like one of the nights earlier.
But tonight I was home. I was safe. I wasn’t with Alec. And I wasn’t obsessing over Xavier like before.
I sighed deeply as I closed my eyes and let myself feel the tingles of the wind on my face.
Thinking with the cool wind blowing all over my face made it easier for me. I could now clearly think about Xavier. Am I ready to forgive him yet? Is he even worth forgiving?
Was I going too far? But doesn’t he deserve it?
And yet I haven’t clarified to my parents that we were meant to call off our engagement that day. Maybe I don’t want to because that was the first time Xavier actually stood up for us. For our relationship.
I could hear the soft noise of rain falling on the ground. I inhaled deeply before going and switching off the light of my room. As soon as I turned it off it was pitch black in the room.
I moved in my room with a content smile on my face. I left the window open as I went to my bed and now laid down to enjoy the weather slowly and steadily getting changed.
I changed my side and now lay there straight– staring at the ceiling.
The loud noise of rain pouring down just like a huge amount of nails being dropped down on a floor filled my room. I turned to one side and stared out the window again. I could smell musky and pleasant odour of the earth.
A small smile made it’s way onto my lips thinking of all the emotions I felt the last time in this rain. All the good memories I spent with Alec. Thinking about how much has changed since the last time.
The last time it poured down Xavier still acted cold towards me. He didn’t care. And yet when his mother told me how he actually came that day…it made me happy….and now? I just don’t care.
What was even there to be happy about?
My dark room was filled with bluish light. I pulled my covers up to my chin as I waited for the loud thundering sound to follow up. Not even a second later I heard it.
The weather is really taking it out today. Lightening. Heavy rain. It’s like it just knows that I am in an emotional turmoil right now and it is letting me know that it is okay to be emotionally drained.
I closed my eyes and let all the chaos in my mind lose. The only thing occupying my mind was the sound of the rain and something hitting the floor of my room.
I opened my eyes and now stared at the floor. I was frozen for a second before I saw another stone wrapped in a paper come and hit the ground of my room.
I pulled down my covers and slowly got up as I sat at the edge of my bed. I wasn’t sure as I kept my eyes on the window. Not even a few seconds later I saw another one of them come inside.
This time I got up and ran towards my window and looked down. It was dark but not dark enough to let me know that someone was standing down–looking up…at me. Somewhere deep in my conscious I knew who it was. And I was afraid to see his face. I was afraid to think that he would actually show up here.
Why would he?
All my doubts vanished as another lightening illuminated his face enhancing his features. I found his weary hazel eyes looking tired and vulnerable.
I couldn’t help but gulp.
I took a step away from the window and now stared at the paper covered stones on my floor. I got down on one knee and taking one of them with shaky hands opened the paper. I crumbled it out and as expected there was something written on it. His writing was all smudged up because of the rain but I could still read it enough to tell what was written.
Does he really have to do this?
Unknowingly I took hold of another stone and crumpled it out to read…
The next one,
I ….. you
Yes, the word in between all washed out due to the rain. It was just smudged up ink in that spot. I couldn’t help but let a mocking chuckle escape my mouth.
Even the paper isn’t ready to help Xavier with his feelings.
I went and turned on the lights of my room before going back to my window and looking down.
I could see him clearly now. Drenched in rain…he was soaking wet and I know for sure with this heavy rain if he doesn’t go home and change he’ll get sick.
I stared at him while he stared back at me from down. I couldn’t bring myself to move as we both kept gazing into each others eyes. He didn’t even bat his eyes and nor did I.
I could see him clenching his jaw as to not let himself feel cold. And I should be running down to help him…yet I am not. I can feel my heart aching to reach out to him. Yet I am not.
I closed my eyes in pain and looking at him one last time I closed my window. I pulled the curtains in before turning away and leaning against it.
I could feel my heart racing and paining but I ignored it. I have spent too much time on listening to my heart and I knew it was enough.
My phone went off. Slowly I walked towards it before taking it and checking the caller.
I kept the phone near my chest as I neared the window. I wanted to pull the curtains and open the window but instead I laid my hand against the curtain and touched the window.
With my other hand I picked his call up. Slowly I put it near my ear as I waited for him to say something. But he didn’t.
I didn’t say anything and nor did he. What was this silence? And why did it seem okay?
“I can see your silhouette.” He whispered into the phone, “I know you are standing there on the window.”
I stared at the cream curtains.
I looked down even though I knew I couldn’t see him,
“Why are you here?” I asked closing my eyes.
He ignored my question as he said, “I am reaching out to you from down here just like you are trying to from that window. I wish I could pull you in my arms.”
I bit my lip before taking my hand away,
“Don’t.” He said into the phone. I could hear his voice getting softer. He was cold. And I knew that. He was soaking wet in the rain. His clothes, his hair…everything.
“What are you doing here, Xavier?” I asked repeating myself again.
He was silent for a while before I heard his teeth chatter. I could almost see him pulling the phone away before trying to regain his strength,
“I came here to ask for forgiveness.” He finally let out.
I blinked a few times before going and switching the lights of my room off. I knew he couldn’t see me now.
I went back towards the window, “Go home.”
“Not until you forgive me.”
“I can’t! Don’t you see? I am willing to be hurt rather than forgiving you.” I yelled desperately into the phone.
He was silent for a moment before he spoke again, “Did I push you that far?”
“You don’t know.” I replied.
He didn’t say anything as I again told him to go home. I just want him to get home and change as quickly as possible because no matter how much mad I am at him I don’t want him to fall sick because of me.
“Xavier?” I said into the phone.
His breathing was shallow, “What am I supposed to do? I don’t know anymore. Did I really fuck up that bad that I can’t be forgiven?”
I felt bulk rising in my stomach, “Why don’t you go home right now and we can talk about it tomorrow?”
“Liya, please. I beg you. I am not able to bear the pain. It is killing me.”
I was tongue tied.
It was killing him? I act cold towards him just for a few days and it is hurting him? What about those seven years he acted cold towards me? He killed me continually for seven years and yet did I complain?
“You killed me for seven years.” I mumbled into the phone as cold as I could.
I could hear him breathing in through his mouth. I could almost imagine him standing down there staring up at my window with the phone close to his ears while his lips quivered.
“I know, I deserve it.” He whispered before cutting the call off.
I removed the phone away from my ear and clutched onto it tightly as I pressed it against my chest.
I really want him to know what it felt like to be treated the way he treated me. Cold. Heartless.
I stared at the stones and the papers lying on my floor now. I slowly walked upto them and taking the papers in my hands I stared at the one in particular,
I …. you.
Can I let myself think that Xavier actually meant it when he said, ‘I love you’ to me in his sleep?
Did he really meant to write I love you or is it all over my head?
“Rock a bye baby, on the tree top,”
I froze there in my spot. I could hear his quivering soft voice. He remembers it. It was a really faint voice. Unsure I went to the window and through the curtain brought my ear closer to the glass.
“W-when the wind b-blows the cradle will rock,
W-when the bough breaks the c-cradle will fall,
And d-down will come baby, cradle and a-all.”
Didn’t I tell him to go home? Why the fuck was he still here if he was so cold? Why was he being so stubborn? Is my forgiveness really worth more to him than his own health?
I went and sat at the edge of my bed. I still had the papers in my hands as I held onto them tightly. I crumbled them up and threw them in a corner of my room in frustration. Why is it so hard?
I couldn’t help but notice the little Xavier on my bedside staring at me through the photo frame,
“What are you staring at?” I murmured before turning it down.
I sat there anxiously as I heard the clouds rumbling. It was silent now. I couldn’t hear Xavier anymore. Could it be that he finally went home?
I took a few quick steps towards the window and pulling the curtains aside, I opened the window and stuck my head out to make sure he was not there.
I sighed with relief when I couldn’t see him anymore. I closed my eyes momentarily before going back to my bed and laying down.
°°°°To be continued
HIGH SCHOOL WITH MY FIANCE
She is water💦 He is fire🔥
She is kind😊 He is Cold😟
I don’t know when I fell asleep but I know for a fact that I woke up due to the weather getting worse than ever.
I yawned before checking the time on my phone…3 am.
It poured down heavily…pounding on the glass of my window. There was a low long rumble of thunder as I sat in alert now.
I could hear the wind swirling outside. It was as rough as it could be. And even though I knew Xavier had gone home a long time ago I couldn’t help but have this sinking feeling in my gut.
I could feel his presence even though I was sure I didn’t see him back then. I grew anxious as the each second passed.
Finally I climbed out of my bed and ran towards the door. I don’t care if getting out at this late hour in the rain will make me sick…I just need to make sure that Xavier actually went home.
Just because even after all he did…even after how cold I want to act towards him…I still cared
for him enough to make me run outside.
I hurried down the stairs– almost missing one stair at a time and running towards the main door. I unlocked it before finally opening it.
As soon as I opened the door I was welcomed with a chilly air blowing all over me. I felt a shiver run down my spine as I prepared myself and stepped outside.
I walked a few steps forward on my porch. I rubbed my arms in order to keep myself warm. I
searched around hoping I wouldn’t actually see him. I didn’t want to see him here. I actually hope that he would have went home. I walked a few more steps until I was standing just at the end. I could feel few rain drops falling on me now.
When I didn’t find anyone in front of my house I couldn’t be more happier… I was worried for no reason afterall.
But where my mind was happy to not find him…my heart wasn’t. It was sitting here in hope that we would find Xavier still waiting for me here. Afterall, he said he won’t leave me until I forgave him, didn’t he?
And that right there ladies and gentlemen is the reason why you shouldn’t listen to your stupid little heart. It will only make you weak.
I couldn’t help but shake my head as I softly laughed at my silliness. I stood there for a minute before inhaling a deep breath taking in all the sweet smell and turning around to go inside.
I can finally sleep soundly now. Without any guilt or doubt.
“I knew you would come out.”
My heart leaped as I heard the voice. His voice. So soft that I couldn’t even tell that it was his.
I snapped my head in the front and searched for him. All around. The garden in the front. Heck in the branches of the trees.
And yet I couldn’t see him.
Was I hearing things?
“You still care about me, don’t you?” I heard him say again.
It was no mistake where his voice came from this time. I stepped down the porch and walking a few steps in the left I faced towards my house to find him leaning there against the wall of a porch.
I stood in front of him as I could feel the water slowly making my hair wet…then my clothes…my socks…until I was completely soaked in.
Xavier had his eyes closed but he opened them once he could feel my presence. The time had stopped the moment when I stood across from him whereas he sat there. His hazel eyes half closed, half open. And the water dripping from the edge of his eyelashes trailing their way down to his pink lips.
“I thought I told you to go home.” I said as I noticed his eyes red.
“I already told you that I was not going home until you forgave me.” He muttered through the chattering teeth as he pulled his legs closer to his chest.
It was becoming unbearable to see Xavier like this. I had never seen Xavier showing his vulnerable side and yet here he was. For how long has he been in the rain now? Four hours? Five hours?
“For how long do you think you can keep it up?” I asked frustrated. He puts his hands on the ground and tried to get up. I took a step towards him reluctantly but he managed to stand on his own,
“As long as you don’t forgive me I am willing to spend as many nights in front of your house.” He smiled softly at me.
I was crying. He couldn’t tell it but I was. My cries were mixed with the rain. At this point I wasn’t even sure of my feelings anymore. Even my feelings were playing tricks with me.
I saw Xavier taking slow steps
towards me. I stared at him confused,
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
He didn’t say anything until he was standing in front of me. Then without even saying anything he placed his hand behind my neck and pulled me in to rest my head on his chest,
“You don’t need to hide it from me when you cry.” He assured me.
I was surprised at his words. How did he even know I was crying?
I could hear his heart beating wildly in my ear as it was against his chest. I stood still for a moment feeling each and every reaction my body was having to
the close proximity between us. I felt warm, jittery and all the feelings I felt whenever he was close to me. Just when I could feel myself giving in and hugging him back, I pushed him away from me.
He stumbled a little but he was still on his
two feet as he looked at me confused before the look on his face changed that to understanding.
The pitter patter of the rain surrounded us as I stared at him with all the emotions I couldn’t express through words. I could see him doing the same.
In that moment I couldn’t help but feel completely stripped off and open with my feelings. None of us was hiding anything after a long while.
Because we knew that our eyes were speaking volumes than our tongue. We both knew it was easier this way. None of us would make it worse by saying something stupid.
And this moment. It was just between Xavier, me and this harsh yet beautiful rain.
___To be continued…
Do you think Liya is over reacting or Xavier deserve it
She is water💦 He is fire🔥
She is kind😊 He is Cold😟
“Where is he?”
I looked up from my plate in a questioning way and ran my eyes at each and every person sitting here in the cafeteria with me. Alec, Brian, Nathaniel and Evie. It was Evie who spoke.
I raised my eyebrows at her, “Where is who?”
She stared at me dumbfounded, “Xavier.” She stated as a matter of fact.
They knew Xavier was back. They knew Xavier was asking for forgiveness and not leaving my side no matter what I did. They knew I wasn’t yet ready to forgive him and still they are asking me about him.
I shrugged my shoulders not caring one bit, “It’s better if he decided to stay away.”
It’s not like I took care of him after the rain stopped. Got him my father’s clothes. Yet giving my parents the answer to why the hell did we even have Xavier standing there in our yard the whole night, not mention drenched in rain ALONG WITH ME.
I looked at Nathaniel and Alec to find them awkwardly silent. There is no denying that Xavier is their best friend…and hearing someone bad mouth about their best friend must be difficult.
“I didn’t mean to…” I started looking at them but Nathaniel just held his hand out to me making me quiet.
“It’s between the two of you. I am merely taking the side of the right. I just wanted Xavier to know that he was wrong leaving you…and now I just want the both of you to FUCKING GET TOGETHER ALREADY BECAUSE I AM STARTING TO LOSE THE ONLY TWO BRAINCELLS I HAVE.”
I couldn’t help but stare at him, “What is it that is even making you think that we will end up together?”
“You are meant to be! And anyone on this table,” he looked around with fire in his eyes, “Fight me if I am wrong.” He slammed his fist on the table lightly.
The way Nathaniel spoke. His voice tone just made it impossible to not believe whatever he was saying. Dang it…even I believed him! How does he even have this power?
Brian just raised one of his hands in surrender while stuffing the food in his mouth with the other, “I totally agree with you.” He said with a mouthful of food.
I couldn’t help but make a face as I noticed Brian’s mouth stuffed with food and speaking incoherently.
I looked down at my food having no appetite now. I heard Brian cough as I snapped my attention to him.
“Woman!” Brian glared at Evie, “Atleast let me have my food peacefully!” He literally threw his head around in a circle in annoyance.
“Stop eating like an animal then!” She helped herself by taking his hair in her hands and shaking him to death. Once she was done Brian looked at her with horror filled in his eyes,
“What is it even that I like about you?” He asked with wide eyes. Slowly he reached out for his hair and tried to put them back together, “Do you even know how much time it takes for a guy like me to set his hair?”
“Ten. At the tops.” Evie shrugged her shoulders like it didn’t even matter to her.
By now I could almost see Brian wanting to go and bang his head against every wall standing here. But being the gentleman he is to Evie all he did was hold onto his hair tight in frustration, “The time to do your makeup, hair, dress everything combined.”
Evie froze before having an expressionless face, “You are kidding.” She stated.
Brian looked at her with so much seriousness that even exams couldn’t compare that expression, “Test me. Hair are a man’s crown.”
“We have to agree to that.” Alec and Nathaniel both said in unison while nodding their heads.
Wait a minute, really? I thought Brian was just exaggerating.
I saw Evie open her mouth but she was cut off by Nathaniel, “Xavier! Man, you are finally here.”
All of their heads snapped to the cafeteria door where apparently Xavier stood. I did not even dare move my head as I started picking on my food. I didn’t want to eat it.
I could hear the silence on our table. I assume Xavier was walking towards us because of their expressions.
Someone put a box of pizza in front of me. I snapped my head to find Xavier standing their with a grin on his face,
“What’s this?” I asked looking back at the pizza.
“I went and grabbed it for you. I know how much you love pizza.” He said. The grin never leaving his face as he brought up a chair and sat next to me.
I gulped before looking around the table to find everyone looking at me expectantly. I could see Evie making gooey eyes at Xavier.
The girl never fails to fascinate me by her oblivious nature. She is literally in awe at Xavier’s gesture while the guy who loves her like crazy and does everything to let her know…she doesn’t pay attention.
The only person on this table who didn’t seem affected by Xavier’s gesture, who sat there doing nothing but observing was….Alec.
I looked back at Xavier as he made himself comfortable before opening the box with an excitement. He smiled to himself before taking out a slice and bring it towards my mouth.
I faced away shaking my head coldly, “I don’t want it.”
“Come on.” Xavier pressed, “A little bite.”
I looked around and found everyone still looking at me expectantly as Xavier brought it near my mouth again,
“I don’t want it! Why don’t you understand for God’s sake?!Give me some space!” I yelled slapping the pizza he was trying to feed me out of his hand. The slice dropped on the floor while everyone on the table went silent staring at me. I could see Xavier sitting there staring at the ground– his jaw clenched tight. He clenched his hands into a fist.
I could almost see everyone on the table afraid. They were afraid of how Xavier would react because Xavier has never been treated like this…especially in front of everyone.
Nathaniel got up from his seat and tried to talk to Xavier so that he could divert his attention but Xavier wasn’t paying attention. When Nathaniel kept on trying Xavier just held his hand out making him stop.
Xavier turned his eyes towards me. I gulped before meeting his hazel eyes head on,
“Fine.” He said, “I’ll give you as much space as you want.”
There was softness in his voice. No matter how harsh I just acted towards him he didn’t seem affected. He didn’t seem angry. Rather he was willing to give me some space.
He got up from his seat and then bending down he picked up the slice of pizza from the ground.
I felt a sense of deja vu as I saw myself kneeling down in front of my spilled food on the first day…except it was Xavier in my place.
He took hold of it before turning away from me. I could feel the silence consuming everyone…even the other people present in the cafeteria. Afterall their golden boy was being yelled at. Their golden boy was picking up the food from the floor….for a girl.
I held onto the table as I waited for Xavier to get away but before going out he turned towards me one final time,
“Can I have a word with you outside? Just for a minute.” He pointed his head out of the cafeteria.
I was silent for a while before silently nodding my head at him. I can listen to him. I can atleast do that much.
I got up from my seat as Xavier went outside. As I walked I could feel all the eyes on me. Judging me. I felt conscious of myself as I walked out silently.
Once I was out I looked around for Xavier. He was leaning against one of the walls looking down. His hair were as usual in their messy way. Once he noticed me, he lifted his eyes up to look at me. Pushing himself off the wall he came and stood in front of me,
“Wait for me, will you?” He spoke softly before going away.
I stood there confused as to what was going on. He called me here and now went away. I looked at his retreating figure as he went in the direction of his locker.
After five minutes I saw him walking towards me with a rolled paper in his hands. He had a small smile on his face as he came and stood in front of me,
“Here.” He held the rolled paper out to me, “I’ll give you as much space as you want. But this,” he referred to the paper, “….belongs to you.”
I stared at Xavier before looking at the paper in his hands which he now held out for me to take. Slowly I took it from him feeling the rough texture going down my receptors. I was about to roll it out when I felt Xavier’s hands on my wrist making me stop. I moved my eyes towards him to find him shaking his head at me,
“Let me go first.” He smiled at me before turning away, “I’ll always keep waiting for you, Liya.” He said without turning his head towards me.
Without saying anything further he walked away from me. I clutched onto the paper Xavier gave me with all my strength. I was afraid, afraid I might end up running after him. Stopping him.
And I didn’t want that.
I cannot forgive him. I should not forgive him, right?
…….To be continued…
She is water💦 He is fire🔥
She is kind😊 He is Cold😟
I stared at the paper in my hands now. I contemplated to open it or not before sighing.
I was afraid. I was afraid of what might be in there. Something that will make it more difficult? Something that might hurt me more?
And I was just not ready to see what was inside yet. So I did the only the only thing that seemed sensible enough to do right now.
I went and placed it inside my locker. I stared at it sitting there inside longingly before shutting it back.
True to his words I didn’t see Xavier after that. Not in school. Not in parking lot. No where.
It was finally time to go home as I descended the stairs to go to the parking lot. I was lost in my own thoughts.
Once I was almost down I looked straight to find Alec leaning there against his car. I smiled softly at him as I let my hands swing before jumping the last few stairs and moving towards him.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” I asked with the smile still playing around my lips.Alec was silent for a while before he said, “Will you ever forgive Xavier?”
He was straight to the point. He didn’t even try stalling.
I cleared my throat, “I don’t think so.”
He stared at me with his sky crystal eyes before nodding his head slowly.
Even if I want to forgive Xavier…I am not able to get myself to.
“Then I still stand a chance, right?” He asked.
I blinked a few times before going and leaning against the car beside him. I stared at the ground before taking a deep breath,
“Alec, I don’t want to lead you on.” I said in a meek voice.
It is so hard to turn him down even though he has done nothing but stand by my side.
“You are not holding onto Xavier anymore…then what is stopping you?” He asked turning his head towards me and looking me in the eyes.
I dared not meet his eyes as I thought of his question. What is stopping me? Rather…who?
“I-” I stopped mid sentence.
“You still love Xavier, don’t you?” Alec asked with a smile on his face.
I stayed silent before nodding my head in embarrassment. I was still very much in love with Xavier. My feelings for him haven’t changed. How can they? I still feel hurt. I still feel pain.
“Then what is stopping you?” He asked me desperately.
“I-I don’t know.” I mumbled.
“Liya.” Alec said slowly, “You love Xavier. He loves you. What more do you need?… I think you both have gone through enough now…I want you to be happy. And I know Xavier will make you happy.”
“I know.” I admitted.
“Then what is it?” He asked again.
“I am afraid.” I finally let out as I stared at the school building now. There weren’t many people around us anymore.
“Of what?” I could still feel Alec’s eyes on me.
I played with my fingers as I looked around nervously, “I might end up getting hurt again.” Then turning my head towards him I looked him in the eyes as I shook my head, “I don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t think I will be able to take it this time, Alec.”
I could feel the tears forming on the edge of my eyes as I wiped them off.
Alec listened to me before falling silent. He gazed into my eyes intently before averting his eyes and turning his head up to look at the sky,
“Aren’t we all?” He smiled softly, “We all are afraid one way or the another. But that’s just what makes us human. Makes us grow. We all are afraid, Liya. But we can’t let that fear become a barrier between our happiness.” He looked back at me,
“This is the beauty of love. Even when you are afraid…it will still push you to do things… Look at Brian, he is afraid that if he tells Evelyn about his feelings then it will ruin their friendship. Knowing this very well he still continues to love her because this is something which is not in our hands.
“We cannot control our feelings for a person. Neither were we able to and nor can we…Leave everyone else. Take my example.” His eyes twinkled as he tilted his head to one side, “I still fell for you even when I knew you were my bestfriend’s fiancee. And no matter what. No matter how much I tried…I couldn’t help myself. I knew the risk very well I was taking while falling for you deeper. But I took it. Because the more I was trying to stop my feelings for you the deeper I was falling…And if given the chance I will still choose to fall in love with you all over again…because the feeling was unreal. The moments spent with you were unreal.
“Even though I know very well that even if I try the hardest…your heart will always belong to Xavier. And stupidly, I am okay with that. As long as you are happy it doesn’t matter how bad it hurts me…that’s how badly love affects you. So being afraid is completely fine as long as you have someone to share it with. I know Xavier…once he loves, he does it with all his heart. And you deserve it.”
I stared at him in astonishment. I was left speechless. Was Alec always this mature or today was something special?
“You are helping me to go back to Xavier, aren’t you?” I asked looking at him mischievously.
Alec shrugged his shoulders before looking straight ahead. He got away from the car as he went to stand in front of me and look me in the eyes with adoration, “Do you want me to tell you the truth?…I just want you to be happy. If given the chance I would have sweeped you off with me, but I want to act selfless for you. So when Xavier says he left you for you because he wanted you to he happier…I know what he went through. I know what would have gone through his head. And how hard it would have been.”
“I never left him. I held onto him no matter what.” I looked into both his eyes trying to make my point.
“Don’t you think he was convinced all the more? You never left his side…you still continued loving him even after all he made you go through. Just like you are afraid of him hurting you…maybe he was afraid of hurting you.”
I fell silent as I searched Alec’s eyes. Why were his words making so much sense right now? Why can I see Xavier’s point now?
Why do I feel like…it’s enough. All we have gone through is enough. And now I just want this to end. I want this pain to end. I finally want my heart to have what it has been searching for these past few years in Xavier. The love I have been searching. Craving.
I went and hugged Alec tightly. He seemed surprised but slowly he wrapped his arms around me,
“Thank you so much.” I mumbled silently. If it wasn’t for you….I don’t know how much longer I would have gone. How much longer I would have put my heart through this pain. Not only my heart but both of our hearts.
One way or another…If I went through all that pain. I have the right to receive the fruit of it. I have the right to receive that love I craved for from Xavier.
“I don’t know how much longer I can control myself if you continue hugging me like this.” I heard Alec snapping me out of my thoughts.
I chuckled lightly before stepping away from him and looking at him with affection, “You’ll find someone better.” I assured him.
He stared at me before his eyes softened at the edges and he shook his head in denial, “I won’t…you were the one for me.”
The one for him? I didn’t even once gave him the love he deserves. He deserves someone so much better than me. Someone who will love him and won’t be stuck on someone else. Someone who will love him for him. He’ll be the one for her.
“As you said…we can’t control our feelings.” I smiled knowingly at him.
He shook his head before looking up at the sky again. His eyes were the same shade as that of the sky. There was a sad smile on his face,
“We can’t. But I also said that I was already in love with you. And I don’t want to change that. That’s the best thing that has happened to me and if given the chance I will still fall for you.” He looked back at me with so much love held in his eyes.
He will. I know he will find someone. Someone who will make him believe in love again.
He cleared his throat as he blinked his eyes continually, “I’ll get going now. I hope you will find your way back to Xavier.”
I continued staring at him as he looked around nervously before moving and starting to walk towards the driver’s seat.
This was so unusual of Alec. He would usually offer me a ride but he didn’t. Were his emotions too much? Maybe he needed some space to sort his feelings out.
I stared at him as he opened the door to the driver’s seat. He stopped before looking back at me. I noticed how much his blonde hair had grown since the first time we met.
“This might be the last time I talk to you about my feelings for you.”
There was sadness in his eyes. I slowly walked towards him and stood in front of him. He looked around in order to ignore me before finally settling his eyes on me.
I stepped towards him and out of nowhere kissed his cheeks lightly. He was surprised and stared at me with wide eyes as I smiled softly at him,
“I will always be grateful for all you did for me.”
He cleared his throat before giving me a lopsided smile, “Before I end up kidnapping you…go to Xavier and clear it out.”
I nodded my head at him trying to suppress my smile. He grinned down at me before getting in the car and closing the door. Once he was inside he rolled the windows down before saluting me with two of his fingers,
“I love you, Alec.” I let him know. I love you like a best friend would be loved.
And he knew it too because I could see that sad smile apparent on his face again, “And I will always be in love with you.”
……….To be continued…..
Awwwn☺️Alec is doing it for Xaiya.
#TeamAlec the strong team