WHAT MY HUSBAND WANTS:1-3
*WHAT MY HUSBAND WANT*
Today is our tenth marriage anniversary. Yes, I and my husband usually celebrate it in a grand style with our three kids. God has blessed us so much with everything that we can ask for.
Three smart amazing children. Two boys and a girl. What more can we ask for than this.
My husband has his own business and he is doing so well, he opened a big store for me where i sell imported materials like lace, which is uncommon from the normal African wear. I sometimes travel to Dubia to get all the needed material and I’m doing well in my business line, a supportive wife and a great mother.
We live in a house of our own, I have my car and my husband has two of his own. We have people working for us who we never owe salary. We pay off whenever the month end. Life is good but it took us a heavy sweat to get to this point.
All this can only be a blessing from God and can never be from a man. It was a long story, a tough one too. a very rough road before we finally gets to where we are.
I remember when I started with my husband. He has nothing to his name, he was serving a rich man who has a big shop, where raw bags of food was sold. They sell in wholesales.
My mother has a shop beside this rich business man where Danladi was a common sales boy. I usually go to my mother’s shop to assist her after school. i became friends with Danladi who I call Ladi.
Sometimes he will be working without food under rain or sun. I will take some things from my Mother’s shop and give him and sometime I steal money and give to him to hide and buy food so that his master will not see him and accuse him of stealing.
Money began to miss and my mother was complaining of it and I kept denying ever taking her money.
On a good day my mother caught me red handed where I was giving money to Ladi. She pulled at my ear and asked me where I got the money from. The more I try to lie or defend myself the more slap and more beating follows. My mother beat me mercilessly before going to her neighbor big shop, the rich business man to report Ladi. She told the big man that her daughter has never stolen anything before that it was Ladi, his sales boy that was luring me into stealing.
Ladi was flogged and was almost sent out but he pleaded and was later forgiven by his master.
My parents banned me from going to the shop again because of Ladi. After school, I’m either home reading or looking after my younger one. Sometimes, I wonder what Ladi is doing and how he is coping through without food sometimes.
This things worries me greatly and I couldn’t even concentrate at school anymore. My grades were dropping. I have other younger sibling that were doing well academically but nobody understand my plight as a teenager. Nobody even want to.
After some months, my mother asked me to resume coming to shop again after school. My whole body was restored because I will get to see Danladi, my favorite Ladi. My mother surprised me further by saying
“Miwa, I have seen how that boy struggle all day but hardly have anything to eat. It was wrong for you to steal but now I understand you have the same heart like I do. I gave him food throughout this week but he only agreed to collect yesterday and today from me because I kept insisting.
He said he doesn’t want to be a burden to me or anyone. Miwa, that boy is a good boy. Despite he has his master’s money at his disposal, he refuse to take it with the excuse of hunger. He carried on with his daily work with a smile. I’m not asking you to steal my money and give to him but is okay to give him food. And be very careful. Don’t let your young mind cloud your naive emotion”
I thanked mother and that was how I resume seeing Ladi again. He was very happy to see and he apologies to me for the beating my mother gave me for taking her money. I told him it was nothing.
After secondary school, I wrote my exams and passed. My parents wanted me to enter university immediately but my mother became sick and I told my Dad that I need to take over the shop in mother’s absence until she is well enough to resume back.
I did not want to enter university where I won’t be able to see Ladi. Our love has grown and not seeing him for a whole week will make me sick.
I wanted to be close to him. He was also in love with me and was shy at first to open up his true feelings for me but he later summoned courage and did so. We kept our relationship a secret, away from everyone.
I was saving money for a sewing machine which I will be using to practice sewing on my own until mother is fully recovered. There was a tailor close to us, whenever I’m less busy I go there to learn.
I also teach Ladi how to read more and write long sentence, unlike what he was used to. Ladi was a fast learner and in no time, he learnt how to read clearly and write too. I feel so proud of him.
The rich business man’s son wanted to date me but I refused. He asked if is because of a common sale’s boy I rejected him but It was better not to answer him before I will get Ladi into trouble. Ladi was worried, thinking I’m going to fall for his master’s son but I assured him that such will not happen. No man will ever take me away from him.
Ladi’s master’s son, buys me gifts and give me wads of cash. He will force me to take them but even at that I wasn’t enticed. My heart belongs to only Ladi.
When the rich son saw that he can’t get to me he decided to frame Ladi up, he reported Ladi to his father and Ladi was dismissed empty handed without a dime after serving his master for years. I was so pained. He doesn’t even have anywhere to go except back to his village where he came from.
I gathered up all my savings and gave it to him, he also has little saving of his own and he was able to get a small place to stay. I encouraged him to get a job and from there he will be able to go back to school. He listened to my advice and got a job.
My mother recovered and was back to her usual business. I wrote jamb and got admission into the university. Ladi wrote his own exams and passed. He said he was not interested in any more study all he wanted to do was business.
He needed money to start the business he had in mind. We had phones that we use to communicate with each other. I will sneak out of school and go to see Ladi over at his place. Spend few days with him before returning back to school.
After a year, I became pregnant for Ladi, I was sacred even Ladi was equally scared.
“Your parents will kill me Miwa. What are we going to do….do you want to get rid of it? You are in your second year in the university, we are not even ready to start a family. I don’t have a comfortable place or a reasonable income to take care of you and a baby. I’m worried. I want to make you my wife Miwa but your parents will never allow you to marry a common man like me. I’m really scared for us…” Ladi lamented but I was there to comfort him. I told him that I will speak to my parents about it but I will never get rid of the baby.
I was scared too but I summoned courage and told my Mother. She was very angry and my father too bashed on me. They beat, rage and threw war at me but at the end they sat to ask me what I wanted and I told them I wanted both Ladi and the baby to be safe.
They called Ladi to the house and asked him what he wanted and he said he wish to get married to me but he was afraid that he may not be able to take care of me the way I wanted because of his poor income and background.
My parents joined hands together and started planning for a quick wedding introduction for me and Ladi. After the introduction, they gave Ladi money to get a better apartment and he quickly did. I moved in with him and got a shop where I was doing little tailoring.
I was twenty two years when I became Ladi’s wife. I later gave birth to our first son and resumed a motherhood duty. I suspended school and face family.
My parents were always there for me and Ladi. My mother comes around to see us with different gifts for me and the baby. I had friends I told about helping my husband get a better job.
After another year, Ladi got a better job that fetches more money than before. He later opened his own business and I went into both tailoring and selling material.
Ladi’s business expand and we moved to a better house. We did a proper wedding after the birth of our second child. And that was how we kept growing to our present day. Is been ten solid years as Ladi’s wife and a mother to our kids,
My husband is everything to me. Our love story grew from strength to strength and he doesn’t joke with me. He sings my praises anywhere he goes and I’m so privilege to have a man like him as my husband.
Today is our ten years anniversary and we have three kids already. Ladi was the first to wish me happy anniversary before leaving the house this morning.
I just finished with all the cooking. I sat alone, thinking of how far we have come and arrived at our present place.
It was a tough journey and I’m happy we have more reasons to laugh now than before.
My husband was home early with gifts for me and we had our usual celebration together with the kids. Few friends and also family came around and celebrated with us.
As we retire for the night, Ladi said to me.
“Miwa, I don’t know what I would have done without you. I don’t even know where I will be without you. I thanked God every day for bringing you into my life. I could have ended up as a cattle boy in my small village after I was dismissed from my master. Miwa, I promised to love and cherish you for the rest of my life. Nothing and no one will come between us. You gave up so much for me and risk it all for me, I will keep appreciating you till I breathe my last. Happy anniversary my beautiful wife. You are my morning sun and the air that I breathe. we will live to witness more and more years together.”
I enjoy listening as he showers praises on me and assured me of his undying love. He makes me fall deeper and deeper in love with him.
My husband is my everything and I love him with my life. I pray things remain this rosy and sweet for us.
That was my wish and prayer that night as I cuddle up in his warm and open arm.
*WHAT MY HUSBAND WANT*
Did I mention to you that my husband is the best thing that have ever happens to me? Well, maybe I didn’t mention that at first but I can turn that into song, announcing to the whole world of what Ladi truly means to me.
On the same note, I can vouch for Ladi that the love he has for me is equals to none. He loves me just like I do. It was as if we are couples made in heaven except that we had our tough beginning.
After the difficult beginning that we both had and things gradually changed to our favour, I wanted to draw the curtain of our fairy-tale to an end.
Like a children Disney stories where you will have happily ever after at the end. I remember one of the stories that I do read for my four years old daughter, it has the princess and the prince living happily ever after in their castle. I could have used such conclusion for me and Ladi’s love story but our own story was just starting. It may all looks like a happy ending counting from where we started from but there was more to come.
Ladi loves the children and wanted to give them only the best. All the things that he was denied off during his childhood, he was willing to give it all to them and even more. He was a good father and loving husband. He said the three kids was enough for him, he doesn’t want any more kid and I totally agreed. We both face in raising our three children and managing our God given Business Empire.
After things changed for us, Ladi and I joined hands and got a better and bigger accommodation for my parents. Ladi expand my mother’s business to a bigger location, unlike what she used to have before. My mother was not as strong as before but she still manage to go to her shop. She has two sales girls that manages thing in her absence. My younger sister, who graduated and finished from law school still helps Mom sometimes.
As me and Ladi agreed about not having children again. We closed the chapter of childbearing. I respect all his decision and he respects mine. We wanted to focus in raising our three children and nurturing them into something better in the future.
After two years, Ladi was beginning to keep late nights which was unlike him. He complained that he suffered some losses in his business and it really affected his financial status. He was mostly away, I believe he was trying to get back on track which was proven difficult. I was there for him as usual and gave him some of my savings that I planned using to restock my shop. I gave the money for him to put back into his business. He was grateful as he took the money.
After a month I found out I was pregnant for baby number four. I had mixed feelings about it and did not know how my husband will react to the news since he made it clear that he doesn’t want another child. The three children we had was enough for us. Ladi may not like the idea or take the news well but he may not have a choice than to accept it and start planning for our new baby.
When he came back that evening, I served him food and after we went to bed I decided to let him know of the new development.
I whispered it to his ears waiting for him to react. My husband looked at me like I just released a time bomb in the whole room.
“I don’t understand!…what did you say? He asked with a puzzled face.
“Baby number four is on the way Ladi. I’m pregnant….
“Is this a joke or what? Miwa…are you serious! Stop playing around and be serious with me. Are you really pregnant?”
He sat up from the bed staring at me with his mouth open.
“Yes….this is not a joke Ladi. I’m serious! I just discovered that I am pregnant again. This is not my making, it just happened. I have being very careful after birthing our daughter and we close the page of childbearing but I discovered that another baby is on the way….”
Ladi gasped out and later said with a low tone.
“We can’t have another child Miwa. We can’t. I told you and we concluded on this. The three we have is enough. I suffered some business meltdown and all thanks to you for giving me the money I needed to pull back up. I want to really concentrate in my present family…I’m very okay with our three children and I don’t need more. They are growing every day, school fees and other things rises with every of their growth stage. How can you be careless to let this happen? Miwa, let’s focus on our present family, I don’t need or want addition again. I’m very okay with what God has blessed us with…”
“So? What am I supposed to do? You make it seem is all my fault… but children are blessing and after this we can close the child bearing page but I’m already pregnant and there is nothing to do…”
I said while trying to make him understand that children are gifts from God. Even though we did not plan for another baby but there was nothing to do now that I have taken in.
“Get rid of it. Miwa you will have to remove it…please!”
His word was like a hammer to my chest. How can Ladi suggest such horrible thing? He try to talk calmly to make me see reason but all I see is his self-centredness. How can he ask me, his wife to go for an abortion just because he doesn’t want the baby?
“Never! I will never do such abominable thing. I’m a married woman and not the 22years old girl that got pregnant for you twelve years ago. I remember how scared you were back then but we pulled out of all the trouble and our son is one of our biggest blessings. Ladi, I can’t do such…I want this baby to live. He or She has the right to life just like our other three children. Money is not really a problem because when your strength fails I will support you like I have done all through this years. I’m your back bone Ladi. Please think well and let us have this child…”
Ladi bluntly refused. He insisted that I must remove it. He can’t afford another expenses for a baby. I assured him that I will help him out but even at that he was determined and refused to see to my reasons.
He later slept off after tossing and turning for a long time. I guess he was also worried but I was deeply troubled at what he wants me to do. He slept off leaving me with my burden.
I couldn’t sleep immediately. I was angry and confuse at what Ladi was asking of me. What is wrong with my husband? How can he not consider me or the unborn child?
I had thoughts clouding my mind.
After several hours passed, I finally slept off.
*_Please what should I do?_*
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 3
*WHAT MY HUSBAND WANT*
I saw that my husband was not going to change his word for anything. I even pleaded for him to reconsider but he was so determined. He kept giving me reasons that doesn’t make sense to me. Our sweet home looks divided because Ladi seems to always be at war with me over getting rid of the pregnancy.
Salami, a friend of mine visited me, she saw how quiet and troubled I look and wanted to know what was wrong. I needed to speak to somebody, the burden on my mind was too much to bear alone.
I told Salami that I was pregnant, she was happy and asked me if that was the reason I looked disheveled? I told her that was not all the story. I opened up to Salami who was also a wife and a mother of four children. I told her what my husband asked me to do because he doesn’t have plans for another child.
Salami was speechless at first, she also did not expect such word from my darling husband.
“Is very bad of Ladi to ask that of you. My own husband wanted us to have another child. My last child is just two years old. I told my husband that I’m not capable of carrying another pregnancy and going through 9 months tough process. Is still my body and I have a say over it. The decision didn’t lead to quarrel because he totally understand that is not easy. It was a mutual understanding between me and him. My husband is ready to have a dozen kids if I let him…that man loves children so much. Having twelve kids will still not be enough for him but we have to think and plan for the future. The four children we have needs love and care. On the other hand you are even willing to go through another pregnancy journey but your husband wouldn’t let you because he doesn’t want another child. Maybe you should do as he said. Is better to secure your home and marriage than to allow trouble to come into your lives and destroy your well-built home. If Ladi insisted that he doesn’t want another child then do as he said. I know is painful but children are luxury. Expenses will go up and Ladi is obviously not ready for that. I understand his point despite how sad or difficult it sound. Miwa, I can take you to good doctor who can do that for you. No pain or much bleeding. He will do a clean job and is just a matter of time, you will be fine…”
Salami said encouraging me to do as Ladi said to avoid all the arising trouble that was already coming into my home. I told her to give me time to think about it.
“Miwa, there is no time, the more the delay the more complicated it will become. You have to hurry up now that is still very early.”
“I have the right to think over all this Salami. Is my body and is the life of my unborn child we are talking about. I don’t know if I’m capable of such. That is why I need time to think it through.” I said with tears in my eyes.
I wish all this never happened. I wish I did not conceive this fourth baby. How can I even agreed to murder my own baby just because my husband doesn’t want the child? I will not be able to forgive myself or live peacefully with the guilt. How can a blessing seems like a curse? This was supposed to be an addition, a blessing to me and Ladi but my husband will not accept it as one.
All this trouble wouldn’t have taken place if the child was not conceive at all. i feel like hating Ladi for making me go through this emotional trauma.
He feels is okay because he is a man and not the pregnant one who is asked to abort his child. I know what all this feels like for me but it seems Salami is right. I want my husband and home back to normal. Since we already have three kids, we will focus on them.
I try to encourage myself but no matter what I say or do the guilt held down at my stomach.
One night, I try to see if I can persuade Ladi for the last time to change his mind.
“Allow this baby to be born and grow with the brother and sister. Ladi, please….I’m begging you. Don’t let me go through knife and fire in the process of removing our child. Children are meant to be a blessing. This baby deserved to live just like everyone else, stop trying to be God over this child that is perfectly forming in my womb…stop Danladi. Don’t make it seem the baby’s life or death is in your hand and you can do whatever you pleases with it. Consider me and this innocent child who has done no wrong to anyone. Please my husband….think this through. I don’t understand this your decision, you concluded so fast and is very wrong. I have loved and respected you ever since my teenage days and I obey your every word and ready to support you with my last drop of blood. But I can’t agree with you on this because is very wrong and you have to see it that way. Please do this for me. This is all I ask, let us have this baby. Let me carry this pregnancy to term and give birth to this child. Please…I want to have this baby. I really do….i hate the thought of removing my own flesh and blood because you don’t want a fourth child. I know you want only three children but this fourth one is God’s gift to us. Ladi please….”
I pleaded strongly, I was even crying to make him see and understand how much I wanted to keep the child. I went on my knee right in our room begging him to reconsider his decisions.
He gently raised me from the ground and make me sit very close to him on the bed. He place a hand on my body as he try to talk calmly to my ears.
I thought all the words, the tears, the kneeling and begging took effect to his hardened heart but I was wrong.
“Miwa…we can’t keep this baby. You are making this more difficult than it seem. Is not like we don’t have other children and this is your first pregnancy, we do have and a fourth child is not needed. I wish you will understand and see reasons with me like you have done over this years. Stop making this difficult for everyone. Please Miwa. I’m also begging you to get rid of this one and let’s concentrate on our present family. I know how school fees, lesson fess, feeding, shopping allowances and many more expenses I pour on our three children. Is not easy because we want to give them only the best but with a fourth child, the best we plan for the children will reduce to nothing. I don’t want that. I want to be able to take care of my family with nothing less than the best things life got to offer and I don’t want what the general public have, I want every of my kids to be in the best school and in their best at all time. But all this will change if another baby comes in. I don’t want another child…I’m okay with what I have. Miwa ever since you came up with this issue, I can’t even concentrate again at work or happy in my own house. You keep insisting that you want to keep this baby. All I hear this days is how much you want to go ahead and defile my words and keep the pregnancy. I have made it clear enough to you that I don’t need another addition. Please let’s stop arguing and quarreling over this. Do the right thing Miwa….I beg of you!”
It was pointless trying to make him change his mind. It seem no matter what I say or do Ladi will not have a rethink over his decisions. I finally succumb to pressure and decided to do what he wants.
I asked Salami to come and take me to the hospital after two days and she agreed to do so. She was around just as promised and we drove down to the hospital where the abortion will be carried out. Salami try to make me feel better by saying it was only a fetus and not yet a child but I felt worst with such word.
Everyone of us used to be a fetus in our mother’s womb but gradually we formed into a perfect being. We were given a chance to life. If our mother’s had aborted us we will not be able to see the rising or setting of the sun. We won’t know what daylight looks or feel like.
After I returned home, I couldn’t carry on with my usual self. I was bitter and swollen in anger. The realization of what I did and the guilt of it all held me down. Everything I did was to please my husband and displease myself.
How could he force me into committing such sin and he feels is okay. Now I’m left with the guilt and pain and he moves about freely without an iota of guilt.
Is been two weeks I was at the hospital where the abortion was carried out and I can’t seem to forget or feel fine despite Salami assured me that I will be alright.
Ladi was trying to play the nice role and even got me a gift to cheer me up but I wasn’t cheered. I can’t just forget, is hard for me to forget.
Last night he try to touch me but I told him I was not in the right mood, he did not push like he will do. He just let me be. Things are not as they used to be. I don’t know if is going to get better or worst.
I still wonder why my husband will ask me to terminate the pregnancy. His reasons are not genuine enough for me. We can take care of five and seven children if we want to do so. Money is required but is not everything. I’m a hardworking woman and a good mother that loves children generally. Even if we have more than five kids it won’t still be a big problem but Ladi’s heartless decision got me wondering if he was the same man I got married to. Same man I fell in love as a teenage girl and has never stopped loving him ever since.
I’m trying to recover from all that just recently happened. Is a long recovery process for me but eventually I will be fine. All I need is time.
*_To be Continue.._*
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 4