NOT GUILTY: 1-3
I have been married to this man for 10 good years and God knows how much I have tried to keep up with his cheating activities. I bet you asking yourself why I haven’t left? It’s because of my 2 kids, my 2 sons. I would have left that bastard when I found out about his current mistress but I had to think about my kids and what my parents would say concerning my failed marriage.
I didn’t want my kids to grow up without their father. What kind of mother would that make me? Jason was 8 years old and Junior was 6. They loved their father and so did he. A good father? Oh he was but he just couldn’t keep his thing inside his pants locked. I gave that man everything my body, my heart, my attention and my heart but still I wasn’t good enough for him. Was I? Why would he cheat on me if I was the right woman for him?
I knew that he was cheating on me and didn’t confront him about it. I didn’t want to disrespect my husband.
Days were gone when I used to cry myself to sleep after seeing lipstick stains on his white shirts. When I used to read his messages from his mistresses but 1 day I woke up and shed the last tear. I had had enough of him and his promiscuous behavior.
I don’t know when I last had a conversation with him. I wanted my husband back, the man I fell in love with but he was slowly shifting out of my life. Why did I get married to him in the first place? Because I was so damn deeply in love with him. We were the perfect couples, most our friends envied our relationship. Oh and did I tell you that I used to brag about him to my friends. Every time I met with my girls, I always talked about him. What a good man he was. The way he made me feel. I used to feel like I had just turned sweet 16 when I was with him. You know what let’s not talk about that imbecile anymore. I am done with him and tonight..I will make sure I teach him and his mistress a lesson.
I had tolerated his nonsense long enough and we once talked about it. When I threatened to leave him, my kids coming along with me. He begged me to stay and said that he would change. Well he never changed, it got worse. This time around I had him followed. I didn’t want to be the noisy kinda wife but like I said before, I had had enough of him. Tonight he was meeting his mistress at her house. I took my kids to my mother’s place and kissed them goodbye. I had thought their father cared a lot about them but I was beginning to doubt. He didn’t have any respect for me or did he give a damn about my feelings.
I hate the felling of stalking someone or being obsessed with him. This was different, he was my husband and I had to save my married. I needed to turn bad just for an hour or so before coming back to my right senses. I reached at her place at around 7pm and parked my car outfront. I had done a little digging about her. She was a student at Midlands State University. She was studying law and I just wondered if she knew that he was married. Anyway who cares, they are all the same..probably after money and everything. I walked slowly to the door. My husband is the one who bought the apartment for her so I heard from my informant. So you know I studied engineering and I was one of those people who knew how to open a locked door. You think I wasn’t educated? I was and did my Masters. It was a choice that I made to be a housewife, otherwise I would have been in Canada or anywhere outside my country. I had everything but still he cheated on me. Disrespecting me and my family. I was raised well by my parents.
I managed to open the door and it was quietly neat. Mind you, my husband’s car was outside. Meaning he was in the house with her. I walked to the kitchen and put on my black gloves, I took the knife and took the stairs that led me to her bedroom. I could hear mourns as I got closer to the door. Since the two thought they were alone in the house, the door was widely opened. He was on top of her, making out as if his life depended on her. I stood at the door watching and slowly my emotions were beginning to build up. I regretted walking inside, I should have never come. It was so painful watching him having sex with her. I clenched my left hand holding the knife so tightly. He was about to come when that bitch saw me standing at the door.
‘Oh my God!’ she exclaimed, ‘who are you?’ she asked obviously shocked at the sight of me.
He looked at me and quickly got out of the bed.
‘It’s not what it looks like,’ he said, ‘I am sorry babe.’
Tears streaming down on my cheeks.
‘You said that you are going to change,’ i said weakly, ‘but here you are fucking her. Does she know that you are married?’
‘You are married?’
‘Oh, she didn’t know. I trusted you with my life Jason and this is how you repay me. What kind of a man leaves his wife and children at home to fuck around with young girls? Look at her.’
‘You lied to me and your name is Jason. Bill what is this? I gave you my heart and my virginity a month ago. This was all a lie. You are married,’ she cried.
I felt pity for her but then she deserved it.
‘I am sorry Kate. I never lied to you about my feelings. I really do love you.’
What? Did he just confess his feelings in my presence?
‘You love her?’ I shouted. ‘and what about me? Don’t you care about my feelings?’
The idiot went mute.
‘I used to love you but you were not that good in bed. You have lack of experience. I always wanted a second wife and what I did with Kate was real. She was different from other girls. She is amazing,’ he looked at her and she felt for it.
It hurt me deeply, he just humiliated me in front of her. I couldn’t my feelings that I walked to him and stabbed him.
‘Stop!’ shouted Kate but I pushed her aside.
I stabbed him for hurting me, looking down upon me, disrespecting me, betraying our love, for making me love him unconditionally quitting my job because I had to be the ideal kind of wife. I was feeling the pain continuously stabbing him. I didn’t care if he was going to die. He had hurt me a loot and deserved to die. When I was done I looked at him one last time as he lay on the floor in pool of blood.
‘You killed him!’ she screamed and I hit her on the head making her collapse.
If he was dead, then she killed him. I placed her body beside him and made her hold the knife before walking out of the house with my bloody clothes. I got inside and drove off after calling the cops on her with an unknown number. I felt better, maybe that’s what I needed. I should have killed him a long time back ago. ‘Rest in peace dear hubby. I am NOT GUILTY after all, you made me do this.’
I smiled as I drove to my house. He is now dead and I am in charge. Tomorrow will be a widow.
Pretense, something I wasn’t even good at but I had to shed some tears for them to believe that I was hurting. ‘Them’ I mean his family and mine. To be honest I was hurting, not because I had killed that bastard but the words he said to me before I ended his life. They all felt sorry for me. I was the victim. Kate had been arrested for murder. The news headlines read ‘MAN MURDERED BY HIS MISTRESS’. You should have seen my smile when I had read it in my phone. I had to excuse myself because I was tired of being offered condolences messages. I wish we could just bury him today, get it over and done with but then that won’t be fair to some of his relatives abroad. They were also attending the funeral.
‘Are you okay?’
My mother-in law startled me. The hell was she doing in my room. I hated her too for raising that dog. She should have known how to raise his son with manners. Bitch, I could strangle her to death right this minute.
‘I am okay mother, you don’t have to worry about me,’ I said weakly, ‘how are you holding up?’
‘I am so ashamed of myself right now.’
‘My son was cheating on you. You were his wife, the mother of his 2 sons. I am so sorry Rita. Why didn’t you tell me that you were unhappy with him?’
‘I was happy with him mother. When I found out several times that he was cheating on me, I thought maybe he will come back right on his senses, he will think about me and our children. God knows how much I loved your son,’ I said that with a hint of honesty in my voice, ‘I don’t know what to tell my kids but their father is on the news now. How are they going to cope at school?’
‘I will be here with you Rita. All I can do now is to help you take care of the kids. My son didn’t deserve you if he used to treat you that way.’
‘And he didn’t deserve to die mother. I hope they sentence that woman to life in prison. She took my husband and their dad. I don’t know why she killed him but he didn’t deserve to die.’
Crocodile tears, she hugged me. If only she knew that I was faking it. He deserved to die after treating me like rubbish. She stayed with me in my room. I had no problem with her. One thing I knew is that she loved me and we got along very well. She was like my second mother if you know what I mean.
My husband was finally buried. I saw him sleeping in his white casket and faked my breaking down asking him to come back to me. Never in a thousand times would I want that jerk to be with me not in our next life. People felt pity for me and my kids. They sympathised with me.
I often appeared being the good woman in front of family and friends. Many people often told Jason that he was lucky to have me as his wife. I wasn’t the lucky one.
I did everything for that man, watched his panties, clothes and socks. I cooked for him and ironed his clothes. I respected him so much that he felt like a King. The promises and vows I made at our wedding, I kept each one of them. I never looked at any other man with lustful eyes. I was beautiful and plenty of men, good ones actually were hurt when I chose to marry Jason thinking that he would love me until death do us apart. After having our 2 kids, he changed and often slept out. I used to cry myself to sleep every time he walked in the house the next following day without any explanation of his whereabouts. I never asked about his girlfriends until I got interested in Kate. He was with her for long and even bought her an apartment. I actually believed his words, he had fallen in love with her. If Jason was still alive, he would have been telling you all that, I was the problem always nagging and trying to control his life.
I was never like that. In my spare time I used to read my bible like any other wife who wanted his husband back. I talked to God everyday but he had abandoned me when he let that man cheat on me again. Letting that man fall in love with another woman while still married to me. I couldn’t let him take another wife, even if she had agreed to his crazy proposal.
The good news was that no one was suspecting me. Kate hadn’t told the police that I killed my husband. I bet she was feeling embarrassed of dating a married man. Anyway who was going to believer her if she had told them that I murdered him. Her fingerprints were on the knife and the police caught her holding it. She made a mistake of waking up on the right time. I was supposed to go and see her in the afternoon after driving my kids to the airport. Yes, I thought about it several times. My sister was in South Africa. She offered to look after them and I was to send money for their school fees.
‘I am going to miss you mum,’ said the older one.
I hugged him. It was going to be hard to live without them.
‘I am going to miss you too my tiger. Auntie Rene will take good care of you. Take good care of your little brother for me. I love you my prince.’
I said goodbye to them and asked my mother to call me as soon as they arrive.
‘Are you going to be alright?’ she asked.
‘Yes mother. Take good care of my kids. The only good thing Jason left for me.’
‘I will be helping your sister to take good care of them. Take good care of yourself. I will come back when the trial has started,’ with that said she kissed me on the cheek.
At least I had friends and family supporting me in the upcoming trial. I had to make sure that she rots in jail. She was just the unlucky one.
I was feeling nervous walking in that place. Prison, never loved the place. I last came to such kind of place when I had visited my later father. He used to beat my mother and almost beat her to death until she got him arrested. Men! I sat down on the chair waiting for her. The guard thought that I would attack her but I came in peace. She came in with handcuffs and scars on her face. She was shocked to see me I could see the sudden change on her facial expression.
‘You weren’t expecting to see me,’ I said as soon as she sat down.
The female guard excused herself.
‘What do you want?’
‘You still have the guts to talk young lady.’
‘I am leaving,’ she got up wanting to leave.
‘You not going to tell them the truth. Are you?’
She sat down.
‘I see now you ready to talk,’ I smirked, ‘plead guilty.’
‘I am not guilty!’ she shouted startling me, ‘you killed your own husband. I am the victim and not you.’
‘You the victim?’ I laughed out loud.
‘You were sleeping with a married man. Even if you try to act all innocent and get out of this place. You will never have a normal life or finish that law degree. You killed someone instead of you keeping other people out of prison. If you had kept your legs closed none of this would have happened. You had a good career but now it’s no more. Back to zero.’
‘I am not pleading guilty for something that I didn’t do lady,’ she got up.
‘Her name is Karen, your young sister. She is blind and lives with your grandmother just outside the city. It’s just the 2 of you. You wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to her. Would you?’
‘I will kill you!’ she started strangling me.
The female guard quickly came in.
‘You not innocent Kate,’ I shouted back at her with a cough.
The bitch almost killed me.
‘If you hurt her I will kill you.’
‘I will pass my greetings Kate,’ I said with a laugh as she was being taken away, ‘bitch!’.
She had messed around with the wrong woman. If they thought I was a saint then they were wrong about me. I was going to destroy each one of them for sleeping with my man. They didn’t call me Rita for nothing.
I drove to my house with so much confidence in myself. I just needed a bath and rest. It was a long day for me. I had drove in my yard only to find my sister-in law standing at my door. I never liked her and so did she.
‘What do you want?’ I asked getting out of my car, ‘your brother is dead now, no more visits.’
‘You framed Kate. I know you killed my brother. Kate would have never hurt Jason. I know her.’
‘What do you mean you know her?’ I asked walking to her,’ answer me!’ I shouted making her jump.
She must have underestimated me.
‘She was my roommate before Jason bought her that apartment.’
‘Ohhhhh so you introduced her to my husband?’ I asked her with raised eyebrow.
She didn’t reply.
‘Get out of my yard before I kill you. You disgust me. Get out!’
She ran to the gate. I should have killed her too. She just ruined my mood.
Divorce blows. There is just no easy way to put it. I am not sure how most people survive it, let alone go on to trust another person with their heart and get married again. The idea of it battles me at times. I had the ladies at the church visiting me that day. When they asked why I didn’t divorce my husband when I found out about his cheating activities at first, I told them that it was a choice. I had to choose to kill him, well I didn’t actually said that.
Moving past the rolling film loop that was playing constantly in my head, the loop of every hurtful thing that was said and done, was painful. Moving past it felt impossible at times. It felt impossible to gain closure because there was nothing he said or did to ever make me believe that he loved me and I could have spared his life.
The man I had made vows to and committed myself to changed. If I look at our relationship with any perspective at that time, I can see that he had died years and years before…but at the time I felt blindsided. All night I have been tossing and turning racking my brains to think what could have possessed me to kill that man. I thought maybe, I was going to forget about him and his existence but it wasn’t that easy. I woke up and sat on the bed came across our wedding picture which was hanged on the wall. I stared at it and began to cry, the soul deep weeping of a woman who’d lost all and spent her tormented life in a level of hell anyone would never be able to imagine. Even in my sleep he was still torturing me. I got up from the bed took the picture and threw it on the floor, the glass breaking into million pieces. If only I had embraced the virtue of self-control. If only I had walked out of that room when he disrespected me. Perhaps I would not be in a place that can rob anyone of their happiness, hell. I was no different with Kate.
“If only I could turn back the hand of time.” These words are so automatic as they ring in my head when I wake up each morning from my bed at that big mansion. The pain in my heart still lingers fresh in my mind as I recall the fateful night when I stabbed that man.
It was done..it was really done and I had to allow myself to accept that the person I married was never coming back, I had to figure out what to do. What’s done was done, so I had to do whatever was necessary to move past it for my children and for me. I had to find a way to somehow get through it and piece myself back together again. I had mentally killed that man. I killed the idea that he still continued to cheat on me. I killed the visions I had of our future together. I killed the dreams we had shared and the life we were building together.
I killed that part of my life that was no longer viable. Mentally killing him, the person I had loved and allowing myself to grieve that loss. I burnt all the pictures that I took with him, everything romantic thing that he bought for me and his clothes, all his belongings. I watched it burn as I took a sip of wine from the bottle.
By grieving the loss of my husband, killing him in my mind I can mourn that loss and start s new chapter. The “wasband” will be woven through every chapter of my life in some way, while the boys are still young but now I am able to move forward without looking back. And the future looks good, and I am better off because of it and the next chapter of my life awaits as I wait for the commencing on Monday. I can’t wait to see Kate being sentenced to life in prison.
Anyway, you all might be wondering why I hadn’t talked about the will. You have probably seen on television or in movies a scene where surviving beneficiaries and other family members gather together for a formal “reading of the will” at an attorney’s office. Such scenes are very dramatic and often involve dialogue contesting the terms. I asked the lawyer to come over to my house.
‘You are in a good mood. I hope my brother didn’t leave you anything,’ she said as I stood at the stove hammering to my song.
She was part of the people that were present. I chose to ignore her. Today it was a good day for me and no one not her was going to spoil it for me.
‘You love seeing me cry right? Can you pass me that cabbage?’
She clicked her tongue and walked out of my kitchen. I should be poisoning his whole family. They were a constant reminder of him. I couldn’t wait to wear my clothes. I didn’t want to put on the black clothes but my mother insisted I wear them, it was part of tradition. I finished cooking and served them all. Janet, my so called husband’s little sister refused to eat my food. She said that she wasn’t hungry but I knew very well that she was. I could hear her stomach growling from a distance and just smiled. Once they were done eating, I took away the dirty plates and placed them in the sink. I wanted to wash them but my cousin sister insisted on helping me. I was even tired.
I had been standing on the stove since morning cooking for these people. Janet didn’t even offer to help me. I had no idea why she hated me. Even when I was dating her brother, I tried so hard get along with her but still I was never good enough. Right now I don’t even care anymore. She doesn’t know what I went through when her brother was still alive. How he used to mistreat me sometimes. Calling me names in front of my children, looking down upon me as if I had begged him to marry me.
‘Mrs Moyo, are you okay?’ asked the lawyer as we sat in the dining room.
I had been thinking about my husband.
‘I am sorry,’ I wiped away the tear that had escaped.
‘If you not up to it, we can do this some other time,’ he said.
‘I am okay Harris. Let’s do this.’
My mother-in law held my hand assuring me that everything was going to be alright. This woman loved me and whatever was in the will she deserved some of the money. The lawyer opened the sealed envelope containing the will.
‘What’s wrong?’ I asked shifting from my chair.
‘We can’t read this will. One person is missing.’
‘What do you mean? All the family members are here.’
‘Jason clearly stated that I should read the will if Kate is present.’
‘What?!’ I exclaimed getting up, ‘he added that bitch in his will!’ I shouted much to my surprise, ‘no no no this can’t be happening.’
‘Calm down makoti,’ said my mother-in law.
‘Don’t tell me to calm down. He is still hurting me six feet under. Why did he add her in his will? What are we supposed to do?’
‘It says here that if Kate is not present then her little sister should be there .These are the terms of the will and there is nothing that I can do. We cannot read the will if the girl is not present,’ he got up, ‘call me if you have found the girl. I am sorry Rita but this is what your husband would have wanted,’ with that said he walked out of the house accompanied by my uncle.
I ran out of the room to my bedroom and locked my door. I threw myself on the bed and cried out loud.
‘Damn you Jason! I hate you with all of my heart.’
How could he hurt me like that? He humiliated me more when he added that bitch in his will. I didn’t want Kate to have everything I had worked for. If it wasn’t for me, that man wouldn’t have started his company. I gave him the capital to start the business and never told him to repay me back.
Just some random girl gets to have what I had worked for as well. Never was I going to let her have half of what he owned. What if he didn’t leave me anything? I heard my cousin sister banging the door as I threw everything on the floor, breaking every glass material. I was mad at him and wished I had got hold of the will first.
I could have changed it and only put my name. That son of a bitch had me destroyed completely. He had made me a laughing stock. I am sure Janet was laughing out loud right now enjoying the drama scene that I had put on a while ago.
I opened the door later after I had asked my cousin sister to leave with everybody. I walked to the dining room in a drunken state and found him sitting on the chair.
‘You dare come back here after what you did to me. You son of a bitch!’
‘You shouldn’t have killed me Rita. Kate gets to win. You might have framed her but you will never be happy in your life. You are in a hell.’
‘Shut up!’ I yelled at him, ‘get out of my house. Go and be with that bitch of yours. I will kill Karen if I have to. She won’t be here when Jeft is reading the will. I hate you Jason. I hate you will all of my heart,’ i said looking at him but he wasn’t there, ‘damn you Jason!’
Every part of me hurt so deeply. Why couldn’t he just let me be happy? I did everything for him. I was a good wife for him. The least he could have done was not to add her in his will. He loved her more than I. I felt empty inside. Whether he was dead or alive. I still felt the same feeling. Maybe I could have just divorced him and moved on with my life. I gained nothing when I killed him.
I am starting to lose everything now that he is dead. No one is going to believe me when I tell them that I also invested in his company. Half of the things were supposed to be mine. But if he was still alive, I was going to get half of the things he owned.
I don’t know how I slept but I woke up with a pounding headache. I was feeling sick kept throwing up. It might have been the alcohol that I took last night. I cleaned my house, the mess that I made last night was just too much. I was glad my kids were not here. I took a bath and didn’t wear my black clothes. I was paying Karen a visit.
I had some breakfast and told myself that I will fix things. I got out of my house and walked to my car. I drove out heading to Kate’s house. What if I just kill her? She was blind. It was going to be so easy to kill her. They had actually moved out from their old house to a new one just near town.
As I was driving I kept wondering why Jason added Kate in his will. I spotted Karen from a distance and drove my car in high speed. I knew her from the pictures my private investigator had sent. This was my chance to kill her, to knock her down with my car. I got closer but this man came from nowhere and pushed her aside making me miss my hit. I didn’t stop but continued driving watching the door on the tar road. Damn him for saving her life. That was my only chance to get rid of her.
To be Continue..