I GET SCARED ANYTIME MY HUSBAND COMES FOR ME. LADY
Eberechi (surname withheld) a 47-year-old mother of four and FGM survivor, is an industrial chemist and senior staff of a major petro-chemical industry. To her, sxx is nothing but pain.
“I find sxx rather painful and unpleasant due to the scar that resulted from mutilation when I was circumcised as a child. I blame my parents for it all,” she says.
Ebere (for short) has been married to husband Jude for 18 years, but, as she says, she enjoys everything about her life and marriage except the sxx
“It has been an interesting experience, career-wise, in the last 20 years. But maritally, it has been rough.
“My 18 years of marriage with four lovely children is laced with mixed feelings. Though, Jude is a caring husband, the problem has to do with sxx.
“I am a survivor of FGM and this has affected my sxx life, as I find it difficult to have sxx with my husband to date.
“The pain I usually experience during penetration normally puts me off. So, I see nothing exciting about sxxual intercourse.
“Sometimes, I wonder what it’s all about when I see women talk about sxx with so much passion and excitement. I doubt if what they say is true, considering my experience,” she said.
Sharing her frustration with PUNCH HealthWise, Ebere said, “I got married a virgin. So, ordinarily, you would expect the first sexual intercourse to be painful.
But after two weeks, it was still difficult to have sxx as a result of pain.
“It was like being penetrated with a sharp razor. This continued for two months until we visited a health expert to ascertain what the problem was.
“After a medical examination, the doctor said my entire clitoris had been cut off and that the wound healed so poorly, leaving a scar around the walls of my vagina.
“So, having sxx has not been easy like other women whose clitorises are still intact. I had to endure the pain to be able to have kids and I delivered through cesarean sections as a result.”
She confessed that the pain she experiences during sxx had made her husband lose interest in lovemaking, concluding, “I blame my parents anyway.”
My three sisters and I were mutilated
A food vendor at Bolade Oshodi area of Lagos, who simply identified herself as Agnes, also shared similar experience of the consequences of FGM on her sxx life.
“You know that my people do FGM a lot. I come from Imo State and my three sisters and I were mutilated. The impact has been telling on us for many years now that we have been married.
“I got married 10 years ago, but up to now, I still don’t find sxx exciting, compared to those who were not cut. Same with my older sisters who married before me.
“I have some friends who were not cut and whenever we all talk about sxx, they are not scared like me. My husband, on the other hand, keeps complaining about my poor attitude to sxx. Same with my sisters’ husbands,” Agnes explains.”
“But, what do we do? When they have cut off the clitoris that is created by God to make a woman happy during sxx, what else can the woman do?
Except she has an understanding husband, FGM can break the home as a result of the wife’s lack of interest in sxx,” she laments.
An Ibadan-based secondary school teacher and mother-of-two who preferred anonymity, said it was difficult for any woman to enjoy sxxual intercourse when the exercise is painful.
“I am always afraid of sex because I was severely cut. I get scared each time my husband comes asking for it and sometimes, when I turn down his request, it results in quarrel,” she narrates.
The story is the same with virtually all the FGM survivors who shared their disturbing sexual experience with PUNCH Healthwise.